My Recurring Nightmare

By Cam Mather

Do you have a recurring nightmare? One of those nightmares that often reflects something that you dread in real life? Like the one where you’re late for an exam and you get there just as it’s over and you fail the year … or the one where you have to speak in front of a huge audience and you forget your speech, or you’re naked. Or maybe there’s a creepy-looking troll from that Hansel and Gretel book you had as a kid and he comes and puts his stool down beside your bed and you start screaming your head off for your parents but nothing comes out of your mouth? No wait, that was mine when I was 7.

I have a couple of recurring nightmares. One is that I’m back living in suburbia. I could tolerate it when I was there, and it was easy to make money there, but I don’t want to go back. The second nightmare involves someone building a house right next to ours.

We are surrounded by forest. Thousands of acres of bush. Our nearest neighbors Ken and Alyce are about 3 miles to the east, and the Kouris are 5 miles to the west. During deer hunting season in November some of the closer hunt camps are occupied, but it only lasts for 2 weeks and then we are alone again.

It really is an amazing place. It’s about a 45 minutes to the fantastic city of Kingston, yet it’s like living in the middle of Algonquin Park. If I got lost walking in our woods (which I’ve blogged about previously) I can walk a long, long way before I hit any road.

So for the last 14 years we’ve become pretty acclimatized to this peace and quiet and solitude.

In my nightmare, someone has bought property right across the road from us (we don’t own that property) and they are cutting down every tree to build a monster home. There are bulldozers and construction crews and noise and smoke and chaos and our solitude is shattered for good.

I certainly couldn’t prevent anyone from building on the opposite side of our road. But we do have one ace in our pocket… we’re off-grid. Even though the technology has come a long way, most people just don’t want that hassle and the limitations of living off grid. They want to turn on air conditioners and dryers and not worry about whether or not they’ve got enough juice to power them.

The best-case scenario is that they would try and live with a small footprint like we do. The worst-case scenario is they would run a loud generator 24 hours a day, but after we hit peak oil in 2005, this option becomes increasingly uneconomical.

But even still, I continue to have this nightmare, about once a month.

On a recent morning I was in the garden early because we’re in the midst of another heat wave. The birds were singing. The loons on Sixth Depot Lake were calling. It was pretty amazing.

I heard a truck and trailer with heavy equipment rumble by which is not uncommon. Then I heard the “beep beep beep” of a truck backing up, but I tuned it out. I assumed someone was turning around. But the noise continued. I thought maybe the township was dropping off equipment to work on the road. So I went to investigate. Michelle was already out on the road watching.

And just like in the nightmare, it was really happening. A bulldozer was being unloaded in the driveway 200 metres from ours. An elderly couple owns the property but their adult kids use it once in a while. And now it looked like they were going to start building. Maybe a condominium. Maybe an airstrip. Probably a monster house with a huge deck and they’ll host loud parties every weekend. Holy crap. Is this really happening? This sucks.

Luckily I recognized the dump truck that had pulled the trailer and bulldozer, so we walked over to talk to the driver. It turned out that they were just working on the laneway. It had become overgrown over the years and so it was time to clean it out, dump some gravel and make it more usable.

Talk about a sigh of relief! Once I saw the heavy equipment in there, this was the best possible outcome.

I will admit though I was a little more resigned to the situation as it unfolded than I thought I would be. More of a “well, what’s going to happen will happen.” I realize I can’t always be in control of events. Michelle’s cancer proved that to us. You just need to go with the flow sometimes. The universe has a grand plan and at a certain point, you’re pretty inconsequential in what you can do.

That’s not to say I don’t try and influence how my universe unfolds. But I think I’m a little more resigned to events having a trajectory of their own which I must sometimes accept. In the country neighbors can be pretty important. Maybe this would be a good thing. Heaven knows we depend on Ken and Alyce a lot. Having someone even closer might be a good thing.

In the meantime, I shall fear sleep each night as the condominium development or creepy troll nightmare lurks in the Twilight Zone of my unconscious. And tomorrow as Michelle and enjoy our morning cup of coffee on our front porch, looking at the thousands of acres of undeveloped, natural forests, with only the sounds of nature, I will be deeply grateful to have ended up in this fabulous place at this amazing time. It won’t last like this forever, but right here, right now, it’s pretty awesome!

aerial view

7 Responses to “My Recurring Nightmare”

  • Kitty H:

    We had your nightmare come true at our last home. The real estate agent assured us that the property next to us wouldn’t perk so there would be nobody building close by. Surprise, surprise within a year building began. Luckily the neighbors were good folk. However, we had an opportunity to move to the Appalachians and to a spot were we can’t see another house. Will it last? Who knows. I try to just appreciate and rejoice at what we have.

  • Gerrit Botha:

    Here’s to hoping it stays pristine for a very long time. And if the global economy tanks, as the signs are indicating, your odds will improve.

  • Wow Glee! Sounds like you have lived our nightmare!

  • Glee Bohanon:

    It happened to me – neighbors. One has five unfriendly dogs that bark a lot. (She’s even more unfriendly). The ones next to her bulldozed everything, filled and put in sod and automatic sprinklers. They ashpahaulted the driveway,too. No more sand hill cranes in the low spot. No more frogs, either. Their all night security lights ruin star watching. I had to fence off my road to keep out trespassers that were destructive, and that gave me a feeling of doom and being “hemmed in”. The new ones on the corner built an ugly McMansion and have a Rotweiller and a German Shepherd. They were doing doughnuts in our hayfields with their 4-wheelers. It’s not the same place any more. It’s all up for sale.


  • Cathy:

    Bucolic, is that the word? Pristine too. Just to good to be true. No wonder you have bad dreams. Or just lay off the bedtime snacks, dark and sinister novels, and movies. No watching TV in Bed…that wrecks a good nights sleep for me!

  • Fortunately the economy plus peak oil should keep the city creepers at bay a little longer. Which reminds me of a question I have been meaning to ask you. What is your take on what the economy is going to do. I have a feeling it is in the not to distant future. Say after our election?

  • Baloghsma:

    Did you receive the colloidal silver I sent you via John Comber last fall?

Subscribe to this Blog!
To receive a notification whenever a new post is added, please provide your email address!
Do you enjoy this blog? Why not show your appreciation with a donation? Big or small, we are grateful for them all!
Find Us on YouTube!
Do You Shop at Amazon?
If you use this link to access the amazon website, we will earn a very small commission on anything that you purchase. (For, use this link first and then link through to the Canadian site from here.)
For information about upcoming workshops at Sunflower Farm please use the pull-down Workshop tab above. Hope to see you soon!
About Cam
Cam Mather and his wife Michelle live independently off the electricity grid using the sun and wind to power their home and their CSA. Cam is working towards the goal of making his home “zero-carbon” and with his extensive garden he aims to grow as much of his own food as possible. He is available to speak at conferences and other events and has motivated many people to integrate renewable energy into their lives, reduce their footprint on the planet and get started on the path to personal food, fuel and financial independence.
Posts from the Past
Mother Earth News
Many of you found this blog through our writing on Mother Earth News. Use this link to subscribe to the magazine and I will receive a small commission, which helps me to pay for this site! Thanks! Here's the link to use;